Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i will never coherently bang her
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
