I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
