The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
