I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
