I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize