Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
