Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
