remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
