All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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