My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Alive.
So much puke
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize