i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
