Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize