I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
