I'm eating all of the evidence.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
