Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
