I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize