That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the day after is always just damage control
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
