Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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