dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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