So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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