I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
