didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This toilet bowl is my home.
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