I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
