We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So much Jack, so little girl.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
