My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
