video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
