She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want nice things and good sex
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
