my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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