I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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