just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
