You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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