So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
