sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
