So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
