You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
