idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
