babies were throwing up all over the place
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
