Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize