your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you didnt know i had herpes?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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