you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
