I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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