I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
