Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I love having hate sex.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
