Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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