lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
