How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
