You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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