i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
