i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize