All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
