TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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