Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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