week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
