Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
