I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
