flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
