Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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