gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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