I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
