So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
