god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Plan B is the new Plan A
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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