So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
